Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
