erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
