haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
