And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You may now shotgun with the bride
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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