I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
