it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
vagina is talking i cant
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
