a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All the doctor said was why
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
