Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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