it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
