I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
