Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my liver is dry heaving
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
