Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
