thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
