who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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