6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
did i just pee glitter
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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