PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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