He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
