Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
