My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...