Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.