is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sext me about skeletons
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
