chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.