is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
