Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
