I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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