rhymes with "ouble enetration"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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