is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
