i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
