I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
