So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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