Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
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I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you