New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.