i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper