Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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