That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
