just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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