She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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