the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
