when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
