Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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