She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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