I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
