My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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