i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bring money and cleavage
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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