I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
