But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
