i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I could make wine with my vomit
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
