I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
