i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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