Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
