Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
