She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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