Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
