I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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