The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
