ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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