The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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