I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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