We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
