yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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