The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
