Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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