It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
not ubering you a puppy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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