The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we should paint friendship bongs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize