Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
