is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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