I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
