We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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