it's not cheating when I paid for it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
